He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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