You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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