You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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