what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
