Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
