I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Fuck appropriateness.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Randomize
