His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
