And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
