Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
