1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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