i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
