how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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