i permit you to call me
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Actions speak louder than pants.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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