i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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