Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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