If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
