What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
