At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
not ubering you a puppy
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
There's even glitter on my cock...
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