I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
