Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
