It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
