My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
