You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
