I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
