so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
