i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
