Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
