real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
nutella sex= disaster
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
