i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
