Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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