so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
