Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
