ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
