Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
