If i come over, it means nothing
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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