Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
