farters have to be the big spoon...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
