Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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