got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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