Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
