you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
