I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
