So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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