if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
