HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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