Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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