The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
