So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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