For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
