I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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