something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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