i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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